Wednesday, January 27, 2010

SAHM: Part II “What do you do all day?”

For all of you stay at home moms, have you ever heard this question, “What do you do all day?”  I sure have.  There are two types of people that ask you this question, ok, maybe three.  The first are truly curious, they know that it must be a pretty serious job, they just truly want to hear more about it.  The second, well, they think they are better than you.  What could you possibly do all day? Watch tv, read a book, take a nap, and occasionally play games with your little one?  The third is other moms.  Let’s deal with all three of these people in this post.

Like I said in the previous post, staying at home with your children is no easy task.  There are many never-ending lonely days where you just pray that your husband will get home just a little early so you can have some sanity.

When we decided that I would stay home, I prepared myself.  What would my job be?  How would I label myself.  I knew I needed a way to define myself other then…Nick’s mom.  The titles I decided on were: teacher, mother, wife, companion, organizer, budgeter etc.  You don’t want to lose yourself by staying at home.  All too many moms run themselves ragged, don’t take care of themselves, and are not overly happy with their lives.  How do I know this?  I was this person for a long time.  I can honestly say that before these past few months, yes, I enjoyed being with my son, but I didn’t have anything else that I enjoyed about it.  I got through it, day by day, no identity other then Nick’s mom.

So, what do I do, and how did I get there.  Just like I did when I worked, I set a weekly schedule.  I plan ahead to have things to look forward to during the week.  I make sure to have at least 4 days out of the week where I know Nick and I will be socializing and out of the house for at least an hour.  This is critical, I think I’d go crazy being stuck in my house all day long.  You need to look and look for different activities.  Google is your best friend.  I guarantee you will find either a Gymboree, my gym, or other gymnastics or music class for your child.  They can sometimes be pricey though.  If it is in your budget I definitely recommend it!  You can also find playgroups on or even start your own.  I was so surprised when I met one of my now great friends while posting for a playgroup on craigslist.  The local library for reading time is also a great bet.  Sometimes Nick and I will just go to the library to read a few books to get out of the house.  Through some of those activities, you will hopefully be as blessed as I have been, to meet some amazing people, who become great friends.  If not, there is always other classes.

I do recommend having a day, though, where you and your child can just relax.  Plan some indoor activities, read to them.  It does a lot to ground you and your child and get them back on a routine.

Finally, for the ones that ask the question, "what do you do all day,” and judge…I spend my day doing what I am too selfish to have anyone else do for me.

1 comment:

  1. I love this post, and your blog site! Thank you for introducing me to it! What you said above is, well, for lack of a better term and/or way to describe it, "well said" and perfectly said! Thanks for the info., and you could not be more right. Joining Gymboree a few weeks ago is the BEST thing we could have done, my only regret is that we did not do it sooner! We are so happy/grateful for the wonderful people we have met so far (including you and your family :-) and we look forward to getting to know everyone better! We can't wait to check out the other places you've mentioned, our adventures to come, and to take your advice and recommendations, all priceless! I hope others do as well! Looking forward to your next post! Sarah


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