Monday, January 17, 2011

The Lies of Motherhood

My husband will tell you that he thinks all mothers are crazy.  Yes, when he says this it does hit a nerve, but look closer at what he is really saying and you might tend to believe him.
I was reading a story on BBC News today that made me think of this quote of my husbands.  It was about how mothers admit to parenting lies.  You know, the one where you child sleeps through the night at 2 weeks, or the one where you only allow your child 10 minutes of tv a day.  We all do it in one way or another, but why?  
The point behind the article is that we should all take a different approach to these parenting lies.  The reason behind the lies is the feeling of inadequacy that we all suffer from.  Being a parent is tough enough without the feeling that you aren't living up to the standards of other mothers around you.  You don't want to be the one on the playground with the kid who had a cookie on the way over, when all the other mothers have a reusable bag with organic edamame in it, do you?

In a way it is like high school all over again.  Who has the best bags, the best clothes...the best strollers, the most organic household.  Don't get me wrong, there is definitely an upside to having these standards.  There is nothing wrong with striving to be the best parent that you can be, but there is a price to pay when we set these standards to high for ourselves.  

I have to admit, my standards have gone down a little since having my second son.  I honestly just don't have the time or brain capacity of making sure that every meal I serve is organic, or that my first little one reads x number of books per day.  Sure, I still try my best, but there is only so much mommy to go around.  I just wish all mothers would take a step back and support each other more instead of making it into a competition of who raises their child best.  The most important thing you can do for your family is be "the glass half full."  Support from other mothers, friends, and family is one of the biggest steps.  In order to get there...we need to be more honest with each other. 

The link to the news article is: Mothering Lies


  1. Oh hon, your right. My son will be turning 18 in about 2 weeks, and if anyone had any idea how many lies I had to tell just to survive to this point ... I would be up to my eyeballs in brimstone.
    I blame him.
    Our best key to survival is each other. Kids are challenging enough without worrying about doing everything "right". Sometimes we just need "enough to survive". ;)
    Hang in there!

  2. So true! Mine are only 2 and 3 months...I could just imagine after 18 years!! Well, you got your child to 18 years old...congrats!!


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