Toddler Transitions, Part II: Potty Training

It's May 18th and I have been MIA for over a month.  Well, I unfortunately can't say I have been on vacation, that would just be a dream.  I have been doing a lot though.  My mother came for a few weeks to visit and on her first day she decided it would be best if we went ahead and started potty training again.  Yes, my mother.  Well, it worked.  Since our failure the first time around my husband and I realized that we were just being lazy.  We knew that our son was definitely ready to try again as he knew full well when and how to hold it when it wasn't the right time to go.  He knew how to use the potty and also hated his diapers more than ever.  The first try at potty training went very well until one day we had a face off with the potty.  N still hadn't figured out how to go number two on the potty.  We don't know if it was fear, stubborness, or just laziness on his part.  He went a whole hour of screaming, crying, and panicking one day because he had to go and didn't want to go in the potty or in his diaper.  We realized it was probably time to take a potty training break.

I think we made the right choice.  When we started up again N went full steam ahead.  We didn't use stickers this time for going pee pee, we just used encouragement and this worked perfectly.  For number two we used matchbox cars.  That's right, matchbox cars.  One dollar per poop.  Unbelievable!  But you know what, this sucker likes his matchbox cars, and it's worked!  We haven't had one poopy accident!  He loves going in his potty!  He screams with delight when he sees what he has done and declares, "I get a new carrrr!"  I am not happy about this, but you know what, whatever works.  I will eventually have to figure out how to end this because our salary cannot afford to continue this expensive reward, but for now it is working. 

The other thing that has helped this time around is instead of using a potty seat insert we tried the baby bjorn individual potty.  This kid loves it!  He loves being able to go through the whole process by himself rather than us boosting him on the big seat everytime.  I should have went with my original instincts and stuck with this seat the first time around.  I had a lot of people telling me that it would be an added step to transition him from the little potty to the big one, but you know what...I don't care.  I am going to do whatever my son does best with. I don't have to potty train overnight.  I don't mind it being a long drawn out process, I just want it to be a natural transition with him.  Just like all of the other transitions that toddlers go through, it wears on them...and us. We have to do our best to make it as easy for them as possible.  He is so much less stressed about it this time around and doing better at it!  The reason this is, I think, is because I am less stressed about the process.

Our next transition, taking that lovely pacifier away.  This transition, I am the one that is not yet ready for.  We shall see.  But I have a feeling that this will be more difficult for me than it will be for him. 

So, for now, my question is, how did you stop with the rewards for potty training?  I'd love advice!

Toddler Transitions part I, continued...I Lied

I utterly lied.  This toddler transition thing can be even tougher than I had originally anticipated.  It could be that or it could be the fact that I am the most indecisive person/mother on the planet.  Not only did I think I made a decision, but I also told the whole world I had made a decision.  Enter a few days later, this unmistakable feeling that I did not make the right one.  I am sure you are all too familiar with this feeling.  My very decisive husband thinks I have lost my mind and that this whole preschool debate is just an ongoing obsession of mine and clearly I will do whatever I want anyway so why continue to go on and on with the choices.  Whew, sound familiar?

We all have our weaknesses, aleit, I may have more than the average person.  I overanalyze every little thing in my life, why should the choice of sending my first son to preschool be any different?  So, before I tell you that I have changed my mind and I have officially picked a more formal preschool setting than originally chosen, I will just tell you that is my newest development.  I hope to send my payment in this coming week and secure a spot. Yes, N will only be 2 when he enters, turning 3 in December but the program that I am enrolling him in seems to be more play based and not so over the top into academics.  Of course there will be the incidental learning through play but I thought long and hard about how much our child's brain grows and learns in the first few years of life, why not have him absorb as much as possible.  I don't want an Einstein child, but I do want a child who has the chance to develop himself individually outside a 20 foot raidius of his mother.  I have absolutely adored these 2 and a half years of having him by my side 24/7, but I am ready to allow him to feel confident with me not by his side.  He still has some anxieties with being away from me, and this program is a co op, so I am hoping that this can foster his growth while still giving him the time and love to do it.  Also, this will give L, my second son, some of the love and added attention that his older brother got for so long!

On a side note, we are finally getting over our bout of what I would like to call a failed flu shot.  I am convinced what we have could have been nothing other than the flu.  Who knows?  See you this week to talk about the pacifier fairy, some cute finds I found at the J Crew outlets, and some other fun things.

No Wonder They Go Through the Terrible Twos!

I found myself getting a little anxious yesterday thinking about all of the transitions my two year old will be going through this year.  We recently tried potty training, although it worked for a while we are taking a little break.  I will talk about this another day, but he just was getting too upset over it.  Nick is almost 28 months old and still uses a pacifier at night and naps, is in a crib, wears diapers, and doesn't go to preschool.  That means that within the upcoming months we have some major decisions to make on which to tackle first, when to tackle each, and the biggest decision we've made up to this date, whether or not to send Nick to preschool in the fall.

Looking at all of these adjustments that he will have to go through there is no shock that he has been having a rough time lately.  He has just recently gone back into a stage of severe seperation anxiety.  He is no longer interested in spending time at the daycare gym or having his daddy put him down at night.  He just wants me around 24-7.  Many have commented that it must be the arrival of his younger brother.  I am hesitant to believe that this is the case.  Luke is almost 5 months old and I think that he is fairly adjusted to this by now.  I think our little people all just go through stages and this is one of his.  I have been trying to give him the extra love and attention that he needs and hoping that this phase passes sooner rather than later.  All of these decisions have been putting a lot of stress on the two of us as I am sure he can sense my anxiety.

With that said, I have no idea what order we will tackle these transitions in, all I know is that they are impending and we can both sense it.  Nick has been warned about the pacifier fairy, has started using the potty, and even tried breaking out of his crib.  I hope to be able to deal with each of these in stride, slowly, patiently, and in their own time.  These next few weeks I plan on posting on each of these topics and assessing the best ways to get through them with the least stress on all of us.  Hope you will join me!

Sibling Love: Getting your Two Year Old to Love your Newborn

I thought the day would never come.  For those of you that read my earlier posts since my second L was born, you know that it was not an easy start.  But, hey, what is easy about two under two.  Not only was I an emotional roller coaster, hanging on dearly to my two year old who I had become so in love with that not even my new little bundle of joy could compete with, but N wanted nothing to do with his younger brother.

It wasn't as bad as it could have been.  N wasn't beating, kicking, or throwing anything at his brother, it was more of just a tasteful disdain;  he just didn't care.  No matter how many times the other toddlers we know would drool over this cute little baby and want to grab and kiss him, N had no desire.  I think he thought if he just ignored him we would get rid of him.

The hardest parts were when I would hold L and N would politely say and point, "put L here," and point to his bouncy or swing.  Not only didn't he want to get close to his brother, he didn't want me getting closer either.

Let me not scare all of you who are expecting a second.  These early months flew by.  It was tough at first but I can honestly now say that N is in love with his baby brother.  It started slowly with N just whispering sweet nothings to his brother and now he will do it anywhere we go.  He loves looking at his brother, singing to him, taking pictures with him, and showing him his latest toys.  I can't explain the joy that this brings me.  Everyone told me that this would be the best feeling, but it was just something that I had to experience for myself.  All it took was some patience.  I prayed for the day when it would finally happen, and it did.

Last week my husband was giving L a bath, (yes he finally realized it was easier than giving our 2 year old his, so this is now my duty) and L started splashing around and giggling non stop.  Older brother walked in and couldn't contain himself.  He started bursting out laughing and staring at his brother enjoying his splash in the tub.  Hubby and I were just in awe.  This was the first actual brotherly connection between the two.  Where they were each sharing a giggle with each other and it was just so sweet.  It makes all those earlier months worth it, and I can't wait for more

Are you a Happy Mom?

Finding happiness sometimes can be just finding the little things in your life that bring you joy.  One of those things for me is waking up with my children, giving them something to do, grabbing my cup of coffee and popping on the Today Show.  This is something so simple but for me it is the 20 minutes of my day that I can count on.  Even today, my husband left early for a business trip and wasn't there to wake up and help with the kids.  I woke up though and started my morning the same as any other and I think we all felt solice in this.  My oldest son knows what to expect and it helped us all jump start our day.  I get that 20 minutes to think and do something for myself and my son gets 20 minutes to explore his world.

This morning on the Today show Meg Meeker was on.  I was very excited to see that they were going to be talking about Moms and being happy.  Whenever I see a headline based on moms this always spikes my interest, today especially.  I think as parents we are always striving to make others happy and we seldom take the time to develop our own happiness.  It is not usually something that happens on it's own.  Sure, we are all happy with our children, our beautiful family that we have made, but what do we have for ourselves.

Some of the things that Meg Meeker suggests are taking time to do something for yourself, pamper yourself.  Also, you don't have to feel the need to sign your child up for every little activity.  Sometimes, face time with your children is more important.  They, "just want to live life next to us."  I thought this was such a beautiful way to put it.  This can be hard to do, just slow down and take life day by day.  I think we all have something to learn on happiness and this was made more evident by the startling numbers that almost 50 percent of moms were not happy.  We all know that our happiness can be noticed and soaked up by our children, so if not for ourselves, this is just another reason to strive for happiness.  I plan on picking this book up and continuing on my journey to being a better mom by hopefully learning to enjoy my own things a little more each day.

The Battlefield that is Our Home

I am a typical mom.  I love my little boys to no end and I therefore let them get away with murder.  My husband will often comment on this weakness of mine.  It has been the supposed reasons for many of my son's flaws.  Not taking naps for me, not eating for me, not using the potty for me....keyword, me.  My little guy will do all of these things for my husband with the smallest of glances.  For me, he will push every button you could imagine.

I have been telling my husband that I am building a far thicker skin these past few months, and believe me, I am.  Is it really thick enough though?  All I need is one simple cry from my little boy and my heart breaks.  I have all sorts of things flowing through my mind.  Should I just give in?  One cookie before dinner isn't going to kill him....

Today was not one of those days.  My darling little boy had gotten into our piggy bank.  Yes, the one that we leave out so we can drop any of our change into it, hoping that one day we will get a much needed vacation.  The one of many glass items that are on our living room shelves in disregard of our 2 year old and 3 month old, who I am sure will both make it their life's mission to destroy.  Anyway, he got into it...again.  This time, though, his game ended early and he did not put back the coins after spilling them all over the floor.  He insisted that, "mommy dood it!"  Meaning, I was supposed to pick up his mess.  No way.  I wasn't having it.  So, there went our hour long battle.  His grandmother was coming over to take a trip to the store with us.  I tried effortlessly to convince him that he would be staying home if he did not pick up his mess.  Well, sure enough, Grammy came and all the coins were still on the floor.  I was holding my ground.  I told her that we were not leaving until this crying little boy had picked up all the coins.  The second he saw his Grammy, he knew I was for real and wouldn't you know it? He started picking up those coins!


Was it my standing my ground that led to this....doubtful.  It was probably just the prospect of him not getting to venture out with his Grammy.  I am sure I just looked like the cruel mother who doesn't want her son having any fun. At least I know that is what my son thought.  I remember feeling the exact same thing when I was young.  Whatever the case, it is one of the hardest things to stand your ground when you know you are upsetting your little boy, who wants nothing more than to just play and be happy in life.  But, I guess that's motherhood sometimes.

3 Day Potty Training

Going with the theme of potty training, the 3 Day Potty Training pamphlet that I spoke of has reached tens of thousands of parents.  It has been seen in various parenting magazines, and I hope to bring you a glimpse of it through this post.

Before I got my hand on it I had heard about it from a bunch of my mom friends and also on various message boards that I frequent.  I was able to track down a copy via email and quickly read it.  After reading it I definitely agree with many of the principles that are discussed but I just don't see how it is that different from the other books that are out there on potty training.

The premise behind the 3 Day Potty Training is that you basically must commit yourself to not leaving your home for three days.  When I read that, the first thing I thought was, you've got to be kidding me.  Anyone that knows me personally knows that this is just not something that I could do.  I gave birth to my son and went out to dinner two nights later.  I get a little stir crazy by being inside too long.  This aside, I figure there are still tons of families that have tried this technique and ventured outside their house in the process.  It just so happens, though, that when we started potty training, we got stuck in our house by default.  Another blizzard in the Northeast.  So my little boy didn't actually have to be dragged that far with his mother.

The author of this book emphasizes that her process involves dedication, consistency, love, patience, positive reinforcement, and focus.  I can't say that I disagree with this approach one bit.  What better way to teach our children a new way of doing anything without our utmost respect and love.  I honestly feel this is how we must do all things with our children.  After all, this is how we should be teaching them to deal with others around them and themselves.

The part of the book that I wasn't so sure about was completely getting rid of all the diapers and pull ups in the house.  I like a slower process and I believe that a lot of children deserve the time to adjust to this new way of living. Sure, it might take a little longer if you are going to be only potty training during the day and leaving diapers on at night, but I think that this is a huge change for your little one and something that might not come that easily.  For now, we are just putting little guy in undies during the day and keeping him in diapers for nap and nighttime.  When he gets increasingly better and has less frequent accidents then we will transition to naps and nighttime.

I also don't agree with loading your child up on liquids.  This could lead to more accidents, and yes, this will help them realize how to use the potty, but it could also lead to a lower self esteem.  With the increased liquids you are most likely increasing the incidents of accidents.  I know with my son, he gets very stressed and down when he has an accident, so I don't exactly think this is for us.

Overall, I think it is a great read, and I will definitely use some of the principles, but I will use a hodgepodge of various methods to find what works best for us.  I definitely recommend the e-book though, if you can get a hand on it! 

Potty training

I tried coming up with a clever title for this post, something gripping and exciting about the topic...but then I realized, it is what it is.  There is nothing exciting and gripping about potty training; it's just something that every parent has to tackle at one point or another, just another step forward in our journey.

We started potty training this past weekend.  My little man decided that he had enough with diapers and refused to put them on.  Well, before his brother was born he had just about every possible sign of being ready to go diaperless.  You know, telling you when he was going to go, going longer hours without wetting his diaper, being "private" when he was going...we had it all.  That is, except an eager mother and father.  We had our hands full, we still do.  The prospect of running back and forth between a peeing toddler and a screaming newborn just didn't sound appealing.  Well, it still doesn't, but we decided that there was probably going to be no better time.  The only thing worse than the former scenario is a crawling baby who is bound to get into everything.

So, alas, we have begun.  I don't know what I thought, but I definitely thought that my son would be the 2 year old trained with the "3 day potty training."  Yeah, not so much.  I read the book, being passed through email from one mom to another.  Sure, he's got the point...you pee, you get a sticker.  Getting there in time is the problem.  We've had quite a few shrieks of, "Mommy, pottttttttty."  The look on his face says it all, he's already gone.  Let's just say things are a lot messier at our house this past week.  And what is it with the fear of using toilets at other places??  This little boy refuses to pee at my mother in laws house, same potty seat and all. Patience is key with all things in parenting and I guess this will just be another notch in my belt.  Someone, please pray for me.

For those of you thinking about partaking on this adventure with me, here are some signs of readiness:

• Your child stays dry at least two hours at a time during the day or is dry after naps.
• Bowel movements become regular and predictable.
• Facial expressions, posture or words reveal that your child is about to urinate or have a bowel movement.
• Your child can follow simple instructions.
• Your child can walk to and from the bathroom and help undress herself.
• Your child seems uncomfortable with soiled diapers and wants to be changed.
• Your child asks to use the toilet or potty chair.
• Your child asks to wear grown-up underwear. 

I plan on picking up Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Potty Training" book tonight.  I'll keep you all updated.

The Lies of Motherhood

My husband will tell you that he thinks all mothers are crazy.  Yes, when he says this it does hit a nerve, but look closer at what he is really saying and you might tend to believe him.

 

I was reading a story on BBC News today that made me think of this quote of my husbands.  It was about how mothers admit to parenting lies.  You know, the one where you child sleeps through the night at 2 weeks, or the one where you only allow your child 10 minutes of tv a day.  We all do it in one way or another, but why?  

The point behind the article is that we should all take a different approach to these parenting lies.  The reason behind the lies is the feeling of inadequacy that we all suffer from.  Being a parent is tough enough without the feeling that you aren't living up to the standards of other mothers around you.  You don't want to be the one on the playground with the kid who had a cookie on the way over, when all the other mothers have a reusable bag with organic edamame in it, do you?

In a way it is like high school all over again.  Who has the best bags, the best clothes...the best strollers, the most organic household.  Don't get me wrong, there is definitely an upside to having these standards.  There is nothing wrong with striving to be the best parent that you can be, but there is a price to pay when we set these standards to high for ourselves.  

I have to admit, my standards have gone down a little since having my second son.  I honestly just don't have the time or brain capacity of making sure that every meal I serve is organic, or that my first little one reads x number of books per day.  Sure, I still try my best, but there is only so much mommy to go around.  I just wish all mothers would take a step back and support each other more instead of making it into a competition of who raises their child best.  The most important thing you can do for your family is be "the glass half full."  Support from other mothers, friends, and family is one of the biggest steps.  In order to get there...we need to be more honest with each other. 

The link to the news article is: Mothering Lies

Summer Days: Then and Now

I am sure all of you mothers remember the days where it was just you, yourself, and maybe a hot fling (husband) on the beach during those summer days.  Sometimes it is even hard to remember these days.  Everyone told you of the ways that your life would change the second you had a child.  Who could have really believed how much, though?  One of the things that has really hit me this summer is the beach days.  We have a pool at our apartment complex and are surrounded by multiple beaches.  When the summer was approaching all I kept dreaming about were the days that my son and I would spend our days at the beach, or in the pool.  I would bring a book, an umbrella, snacks, and some toys for him to play with.  He would love this, and I would get the much needed sun and relaxation that I needed.  Sure enough, summer came.  We took our first trip to the pool...and then our first trip to the beach.  Sure we brough all of the things that I had planned but the day did not go exactly as planned.

Instead of reading, I was putting sun block on, over and over again...instead of sunning I was chasing after a crazy little boy who wanted to play ball with the college kids; instead of me staring blissfully into the water, I was staring blissfully at a little boy who wanted NOTHING to do with the beach that day.  He was much more interested in chasing the seagulls, or going to the park across the street.

I soon realized, this summer wasn't about me...it was about him, just like everything else in life.  It's not that we can't go to the pool, or go to the beach.  It's just that it's under his rules, and that's okay.  Watching him chase the birds isn't so bad.  Instead of going to secluded beaches we go to ones that are surrounded with playgrounds and sprinklers, ones with shade and no waves.  When I look back I am pretty sure that I'd rather remember these days...I just hope I can remember that on the days that little man throws a tantrum the second I finishing unpacking all of our stuff on the sand.

A Look into the Waldorf Education

My playgroup has started to do some new playdates revolving around the Waldorf Education so I decided to look more into it.

This type of learning is based on the understanding that, a young infant will learn not through a formal educational process, but rather through just being, how to walk, how to talk, how to interact.  All of this learning takes place through imitation and watching those around him.  The Waldorf curriculum is based on this process.  The child learns through exploring  The arts, literature, music, and other subjects are not learned through a formal education but rather through experimenting with it.  Instead of reading books about specific artists, you listen to their music.  Instead of reading about nature, you go out and find it.  I think this is so very important, especially in the first few years of life.  The main purpose behind this way of teaching is to inspire a desire and love for learning in the child that will span through out their life.

The curriculum is different depending on the age range.  For young toddlers and preschool children the teaching may consist of:

•storytelling, puppetry, creative play


•singing, eurythmy (movement)

•games and finger plays

•painting, drawing and beeswax modeling

•baking and cooking, nature walks

•foreign language and circle time for festival and seasonal celebrations
 
A Waldorf Education does not hold a child back from fitting in with "normalized" society as some may think.  Although the schools are different in many respects, children are still learning to read, math, science, history, and writing.  In addition, these children are also exposed to playing instruments, woodworking, the arts, drama.  It inspires individual talents within each child.  The thing I like best is the interaction between the teacher and student.  One teacher may continue on with children all through their elementary years.
 
TV is something that is not appreciated in the Waldorf schools.  It is believed that such electronics hamper the imagination of the child to learn through experimentation and exploring.  That is why a lot of the toys used are all natural, or even just things that you can find in one's own home.
 
To find out more, visit: http://www.whywaldorfworks.org/
 
I don't know if we would put my son into a full Waldorf school after first grade, but I would love to find one for preschool and kindergarden and see how it goes.  It seems like it is limited though in the state of Connecticut.

The Truth About Cloth Diapering: Q & A

It has been a few weeks since we have started CD'ing exclusively, I have had to ask A LOT of questions and to find a lot of answers.  I also noticed from posting about our new experience we had some eyebrow raises...so, why not do a Q & A?  I am happy to say that as of now I am one hundred percent happy with the switch that we made.  I truly believe I am doing what is right, and loving it in the process.  It is even easier than I have anticipated and I would love to share some of my initial experiences.

First and Foremost:  Let's tackle the germ questions.  Won't there be germs and bacteria sitting around my house with cloth diapers?  Why wouldn't you just want to throw that stuff out?!

For starters, no matter how you look at it, when you change a stinky diaper, you will be exposed to poop.  Many wonder why anyone would ever want to leave it lingering around rather then just throwing it out with the trash.  Well, I think this was part of my husband's concern.  The smell especially.  First of all, poop isn't supposed to be thrown into the trash.  Even with disposables, law requires that you throw the poop down the toilet before discarding of the diaper.  No one does this, or no one I know for that matter.  If you have a diaper genie, or even just throw your diapers into the trash...you WILL have poop and urine sitting around.  it will smell, and it's going to be in your house.  With cloth you actually are forced to throw the poop down the toilet!  You flush, and voila.  It is literally gone.  This is actually a plus for me.  Sure, you will have to throw the dirty diaper in a pail, but the poop will not invade your house with odor.  I can honestly say, we haven't had one odor issue yet.  The pail we use, simply a garbage can with a lid, has kept any, if any, odors inside.  I have yet to be exposed to, or touch poop!

What's the point?  Weren't disposables working just fine?

Sure they were.  I wasn't struggling with them, it was simple.  The amount of garbage that was leaving our house on a daily basis was beginning to get to me.   We definitely have less now, and with the new baby coming...I could not fathom how much trash we would have to take out in a day.  On top of that, we have had a few diaper explosions in the past, and to see what is inside of those disposables, I began to think.

There are definite health risks with using disposables.  If you would like to read more about this, check out The truth about Cloth.  I was astonished to find out that an ingredient in cloth diapers is actually something that has been linked to toxic shock syndrome in tampons.  It's not okay for us, but it is okay for our children?  I don't think so.

Isn't it a pain in the butt to do so much extra laundry?

This was also a concern of mine.  Once I got our whole diaper stash though, I am only doing 2-3 extra loads a week. I really don't mind it.  It really is so simple.  I'll take you through the process.  I change a diaper, if it is a number two, it goes in the toilet, the insert comes out, and both the outer part of the diaper and the insert go into a diaper pail that we have with a liner.  Once diaper wash day comes around, I dump everything, including the liner, into the wash.  I do one cold rinse, then a hot wash, and possibly another rinse.  I then either throw everything into the dryer, or line dry.  I use pocket diapers, so when everything is dry, it takes about three minutes to stuff the diapers and then we are ready to go for 2-3 more days!  The water bill may be a little higher, but very very little..and in the long run the savings will be worth it.

I hope this has given you a little of an insight and that I can come back and answer more questions next time!

Come Experience Cloth Diapering with Me!

I'm glad to be back.  With this, I have some great things coming up!  I have a review which I hope to get going on Monday.  Also, in the past few weeks, we have been experiencing with cloth diapering...again.  We tried it once before when my son was 6 months.  I liked it, but it just wasn't the right time.  We tried again and I think we are ready!  Well, I at least think that I am ready.  My husband, I can tell is still a little hesitant.  He is eager to make me happy though so we are giving it a go!

My first order was from Jillian's Drawers.  I ordered some fuzzi bunz fitted, a duo thirsties cover, and two bum genius one size pocket diapers.  Although I loved the fitteds when my son was smaller...I tend to like the one size bum genius better this time around.  We are going to be sending the fb back.  Today I placed an order for some more bum genius with a great discount at Kelly's Closet where you buy 5 and get 1 free.  I also ordered 2 Knickernappies to give those a try.

So far, for me the hardest part has been the poopy diapers.  I haven't quite mastered it yet, although I am getting used to the idea.  At the moment we don't have any liners or a diaper sprayer so unfortunately I have been using the dunk and swish method.  This time around I ordered some liners to make it easier.  Otherwise I am truly impressed with how easy and convenient cloth is.  I am also very excited because the new little one will eventually be able to fit into the one size diapers, which means extra savings!

I hope to post once a week about different aspects of cloth diapering.  So, if you are interested in learning more, we'll see you soon!

Certain Level of Comfort with Number Two (baby that is)

My family went to visit some friends this weekend who just had their first child.  She is a beautiful baby girl, but SO incredibly tiny.  When I first saw her I instantly thought that there was NO way that my son was ever that tiny.  Sure enough their weight and height wasn't that much apart.  How is it that we could forget so quickly how small these little creatures are?  Infancy isn't just a walk in the park, it is a beautiful time period for both parents and baby, but no one would say that it s easy.  You would think after the journey we would at least be left with a picture perfect memory of those little buggers.

Maybe though the reason that we forget so quickly is sort of like the reason that we forget about child birth.  It may just be mother nature's way of populating this earth.  I am finally in my second trimester and I finally feel ready (well not totally) about having this second baby.  I have been so paranoid about my son, who will be 22 months when the next one is born, hating his sibling and throwing a fit every time I am holding the baby.  So of course this was my concern when I held our friend's baby.  He was so good though!  He did have one incident where he tried snatching the baby like a stuffed toy, but other then that I don't really think he knew that it was actually another human being.  He is totally different when I pick up another toddler.  Holding that little baby reminded me of how much we wanted to have another child.  Of course it is going to be hard, but I just can't wait to hold our second baby and experience everything all over again.  It also got me thinking a lot about breastfeeding and how I am really hoping that it works out this time around.  I had a lot of struggles with my first and I really hope that I can push through this next time around.  I feel like I should be able to handle it all a little better being through the infant phase once before...but who knows, I don't want to hold myself up to such big standards because this could lead to disappointmen.  I do know one thing, I will give it my best effort!

Is there a secret to where all the socks and pacifiers go?

Everyone is always talking about the sock bunny who must hang out in your dryer who mysteriously steals all of your socks.  It is so true.  I swear, I have two pairs of socks that I can keep track of and only because they are very brightly colored.  All my white socks, or smaller sized socks (my sons) have literally disappeared off the face of the Earth.  How come no one ever talks about the disappearing act that pacifiers play every once in a while.

We have a running joke in this house that at one point my husband had an obsession with keeping 4 pacis lined up on my son's crib at a time so that we would always know, hey, there's four pacis in the other room if we ever lose one.  Well, our son only uses his paci at night and for naps.  Needless to say somehow I, yes me, have lost all but one of his darling pacifiers.  I can't tell you how, or why.  All I can tell you is I have no clue where these things have gone.  We've searched high and low.  Thank God for his green pacifier though.  It's the only one that hasn't disappeared.  That is, until last night.  Luckily it didn't start until 5:30 this morning, but I knew something would up.  My son kept waking up, and at one point I knew I had to go in.  I found a very upset little boy.  It ends up daddy tried putting him back to sleep without his paci because it was gone.  Well, I tore apart that bed, the room, everything.  I couldn't find it!  At this point I knew my little boy wasn't going back to bed.  He was a mess.  This continued for a long time.  Poor little guy.

Well, we found the pacifier, thank you for that.  This just scares the heck out of me and what we can expect when we decide to get rid of it once and for all.  What's everyones opinion, should we do it before the new baby arrives in November or say, hey, who cares he likes it.

Easter's around the corner, Reflections

With Easter around the corner it's a great time to feel blessed by all that we have in this life.  I have had a pretty rough week, probably just because my level of exhaustion and my husband's insane work levels.  I have been feeling a bit of resentment lately, but that got me thinking.  Well, he got me thinking...as usual.

I am a 26 year old stay at home mom.  I am feeling a little depressed because I am used to the craziness of law school, the activities that follow and the thoughts of what is to come.  After leaving my most recent part time attorney job (for reasons which we will not speak of here =) ) I almost feel like I am stuck in a rut.  What am I doing?  How am I supposed to do this with two?  Do I want more out of my life.

The truth is, most of us probably think this at one time or another.  I would probably be going through the same thought process if I was working a full time job, coming home to see my son for about 10 minutes before he goes to sleep.  In fact, that is exactly what I was thinking just about 8 months ago.  My husband sat down with me this week telling me how much he misses being able to see our son during the week and what a toll this has been taking on him.  Everytime I complain about how tired I am, or how the week is just dragging and dragging, I am reminded of what others would do to be able to spend their days with their children.  I get to watch my son grow, play, imagine.  He is growing so much every day.  Sure, there are times where I would love just to be in court in a high powered suit, sipping a coffee, preparing for a case.  But sometimes it is best to take a step back and take a look at what we think really matters in life.  Our Blessings.  I will be looking a lot into this in the next couple of weeks, taking a chance to regroup, and I hope that you will all do the same with me.

So, when you are feeling down, just take a second to think of all that we actually have, not what we are missing, or the things that are going wrong in our everyday lives.  Sure it is hard, but in the end those are the things that pick us back up.

Food Nation: Changing the way we raise our children

I hope some of you were able to tune into the Food Nation sneak preview last night, I was totally drawn in, and glad about it.  It is a new show about a man who helped reform the British school systems menu coming over to America to help change what our children are eating.  First stop: Huntington, West Virgina.  In 2008 statistics were published naimg Huntington the most obese city, in the most obese state, in unfortunately, the most obese country.

I was truly disturbed viewing the first few minutes of the show.  To see what is being fed to our children in schools.  It looked like complete greasy, fried, carb overload.  Pizza for breakfast, chicken nuggets for lunch?  This was a little too much for me, I am happy that my son is not old enough to be in school and it got me thinking that unless some huge changes are made, my son will be bringing his bagged lunch to school.  Don't get me wrong, I know not all schools are like this, and many have made great strides.  I am glad that someone is taking initiative, and I think this show will help families actually think about what they are sending their children to school to eat.  We expect that our children are getting a good education and are not being harmed by the food they eat.  What a child eats is the basis for what they will eat the rest of their life.  We are their parents, their elders, we have to teach them.

This got me thinking, I'd really love to add a healthy recipe a week for toddlers/children.  We all know how hard it is to come up with different things that our children like.  Hey, they might not like it all...but at least we are showing them what good food is and not exposing them to all the processed junk!

So for this week, here's a great recipe that my son loves.

Avocado, grilled cheese sandwhich

It's simple.  In a toaster, toast whole wheat bread with avocado spread on one side and a slice of any cheese (preferably organic) on the other side.  You can also add a tomato, or even some chicken.  You can cut it into different shapes, or little pieces for your little one.

Sleepless Nights

I don't even remember being up as much last night as I was when little guy just came home from the hospital.  Up until we left the hospital with my son, I swear, he barely made a peep.  My husband was talking to his father and stated, "he is just sooo good, he doesn't cry, he mostly sleeps and eats."  Boy, were we wrong.  We obviously had no clue what the next few weeks would feel like.  The first night our son woke up crying, we cried because we just didn't know how to get him to sleep, or stop crying for that matter.

Well, last night brought back memories.  I come home from food shopping at 8 pm because little guy wasn't doing much to help the situation during the day and hubby says that it's been an hour and a half and he still hasn't gone to sleep.  I think that he was up 3 more times before I even got into bed and then just about every hour.  I have to give him some credit he did sleep in 30 minutes until 7 o clock when my husband had to take a shower...not nearly enough time for me to get some shut eye from last night.  I am crying inside right now at how tired I am.  I am not going to even bother hoping for two naps today, instead I will go about my day and pray that the afternoon nap gives me some relief.  Hope you all had a better night than I did!

Mom's Need a Time Out Too!

Whether you are a Stay at Home Mom or a Working Mom we all need a little "time out."  Between changing diapers, running errands, cleaning the house, and all the other "activities"  we are seldom left with any time to ourselves.  By the end of the day we sit back and say, "where did MY day go, where did MY time go?"  We try our hardest to sneak in a few extra minutes, clinging to this day.  All to find that we are too tired to actually enjoy it.  Sure, we enjoy the time spent with our children, but who are we kidding?  We need a break! 

Over at Theta Mom Heather is celebrating her time.  On the last Thursday of the month Heather posts about one hour that she spent alone without her children.  This month she had a great date night for her birthday!  The post isn't just about her though, it's about you too.  It is about giving  yourself a time out, a time to reflect on life and enjoy being just  you!  So how did you spend your hour?

My husband was nice enough to take care of our son this Saturday so that I could take a trip to Barnes and Nobles.  I love just being able to sit back, grab a cup of coffee, a few magazines and just sit back and relax.  I think I actually stayed there for about two hours. It was amazing to know that everything was taken care of and that I had that time for just me.  When I came home, everything felt more relaxed...rejuvenated.  I am so glad I did it, and I might even try to sneak out and do it again this weekend =)

Hope  you got to enjoy some of your own time...if not, be sure to make some for yourself. 

Last, but not least, here's a story to remind you why sometimes we just all need time to ourselves, and a good laugh!

This past week my son has had the worst diaper rash I have ever seen.  He isn't one that is used to getting these, I think he has one other one since birth.  My husband had decided to fill him up on canteloupe the other day.  Sure, three pieces may have been fine, but not the amount that was devoured by my son.  Not only that day, but the day after, and the day after that.  I had a feeling things might go wrong, but not this wrong!  My poor little boy was having trouble even sitting this week.  I felt like a horrible mother and a masochist everytime I gave him a diaper change.  Well, you know what they say, let the boy go naked a little here and there it's sure to do the trick.  The past few days that is what I have been doing after baths.  It has done wonders.  I decided I would do it one last time tonight; the rash is almost gone and one more day should do it.

My husband got home early today so when he heard this was my plan (he doesn't know I've done it the past three days) he freaked, that this could NOT be good and that should anything happened...I'd be picking it up.  Well, wouldn't you know it, the worst happened.  I am getting my son ready for bed when I hear laughing, I turn to see my son trying to pee in the toilet (he's way too short) and landing directly on the carpet!  Not so bad, right?  Well, the little joker is laughing so hard that he proceeds to also go out the other end (pardon the grossness).  You have me screaming, him laughing.  My husband comes running and quicly realizes what is going on.  Little does he know that instead of staring he should get my son before he tracks this stuff through our house!  Needless to say, it was an adventure.  I laugh now, but wow, that's all I can say.  Hope your night went better than mine!

The endless struggle: Staying at home vs. Working

Some evenings when the day is really dragging I long for the days where I can wake up, shower, put on my suit, send Nick off to Grammy's, and go to court.  Come on, I get to shower for one.  I get to sip my coffee in the car and even play some music other then toddler tunes.  It's almost like every once in a while your body and mind just needs a change of pace.

There are days like today though, where I know that court is approaching tomorrow, I am trying to scramble for more time to prepare and I have a son to take care of on top of it that I wonder what I was thinking in the first place.  Sometimes it is almost like we load our plates with so much to do because we can't stand the thought of taking a second to relax  I have been struggling for months to balance my life.  I have my career in one hand and my family and son in another.  I have and always will put my family first.  So why don't I completely put my career on the backburner until I am done raising our children?  Well, ten years from now I will be sitting here after my children go off to school wondering where MY life went.  What did I enjoy before going to gymboree with my son, reading endless toddler books, and going for long walks to the park?  Can't I just figure this out ten years from now?  Sure I can but will anyone respect me, respect what I did for those ten years, what I gave up? 

No one looking in can completely understand what stay at home moms give up but also what they gain to stay at home with their children.  Some think we are merely being lazy, sipping our coffee while our little ones entertain themselves.  Well, that's not so true is it?  So for me, I try to balance both aspects of my life to gain the experience and build up my resume so that one day I can, if I so desire, continue on with my career full speed ahead.  It's not so easy but then again what is?