Toddler Transitions, Part II: Potty Training

It's May 18th and I have been MIA for over a month.  Well, I unfortunately can't say I have been on vacation, that would just be a dream.  I have been doing a lot though.  My mother came for a few weeks to visit and on her first day she decided it would be best if we went ahead and started potty training again.  Yes, my mother.  Well, it worked.  Since our failure the first time around my husband and I realized that we were just being lazy.  We knew that our son was definitely ready to try again as he knew full well when and how to hold it when it wasn't the right time to go.  He knew how to use the potty and also hated his diapers more than ever.  The first try at potty training went very well until one day we had a face off with the potty.  N still hadn't figured out how to go number two on the potty.  We don't know if it was fear, stubborness, or just laziness on his part.  He went a whole hour of screaming, crying, and panicking one day because he had to go and didn't want to go in the potty or in his diaper.  We realized it was probably time to take a potty training break.

I think we made the right choice.  When we started up again N went full steam ahead.  We didn't use stickers this time for going pee pee, we just used encouragement and this worked perfectly.  For number two we used matchbox cars.  That's right, matchbox cars.  One dollar per poop.  Unbelievable!  But you know what, this sucker likes his matchbox cars, and it's worked!  We haven't had one poopy accident!  He loves going in his potty!  He screams with delight when he sees what he has done and declares, "I get a new carrrr!"  I am not happy about this, but you know what, whatever works.  I will eventually have to figure out how to end this because our salary cannot afford to continue this expensive reward, but for now it is working. 

The other thing that has helped this time around is instead of using a potty seat insert we tried the baby bjorn individual potty.  This kid loves it!  He loves being able to go through the whole process by himself rather than us boosting him on the big seat everytime.  I should have went with my original instincts and stuck with this seat the first time around.  I had a lot of people telling me that it would be an added step to transition him from the little potty to the big one, but you know what...I don't care.  I am going to do whatever my son does best with. I don't have to potty train overnight.  I don't mind it being a long drawn out process, I just want it to be a natural transition with him.  Just like all of the other transitions that toddlers go through, it wears on them...and us. We have to do our best to make it as easy for them as possible.  He is so much less stressed about it this time around and doing better at it!  The reason this is, I think, is because I am less stressed about the process.

Our next transition, taking that lovely pacifier away.  This transition, I am the one that is not yet ready for.  We shall see.  But I have a feeling that this will be more difficult for me than it will be for him. 

So, for now, my question is, how did you stop with the rewards for potty training?  I'd love advice!

No Wonder They Go Through the Terrible Twos!

I found myself getting a little anxious yesterday thinking about all of the transitions my two year old will be going through this year.  We recently tried potty training, although it worked for a while we are taking a little break.  I will talk about this another day, but he just was getting too upset over it.  Nick is almost 28 months old and still uses a pacifier at night and naps, is in a crib, wears diapers, and doesn't go to preschool.  That means that within the upcoming months we have some major decisions to make on which to tackle first, when to tackle each, and the biggest decision we've made up to this date, whether or not to send Nick to preschool in the fall.

Looking at all of these adjustments that he will have to go through there is no shock that he has been having a rough time lately.  He has just recently gone back into a stage of severe seperation anxiety.  He is no longer interested in spending time at the daycare gym or having his daddy put him down at night.  He just wants me around 24-7.  Many have commented that it must be the arrival of his younger brother.  I am hesitant to believe that this is the case.  Luke is almost 5 months old and I think that he is fairly adjusted to this by now.  I think our little people all just go through stages and this is one of his.  I have been trying to give him the extra love and attention that he needs and hoping that this phase passes sooner rather than later.  All of these decisions have been putting a lot of stress on the two of us as I am sure he can sense my anxiety.

With that said, I have no idea what order we will tackle these transitions in, all I know is that they are impending and we can both sense it.  Nick has been warned about the pacifier fairy, has started using the potty, and even tried breaking out of his crib.  I hope to be able to deal with each of these in stride, slowly, patiently, and in their own time.  These next few weeks I plan on posting on each of these topics and assessing the best ways to get through them with the least stress on all of us.  Hope you will join me!

Potty training

I tried coming up with a clever title for this post, something gripping and exciting about the topic...but then I realized, it is what it is.  There is nothing exciting and gripping about potty training; it's just something that every parent has to tackle at one point or another, just another step forward in our journey.

We started potty training this past weekend.  My little man decided that he had enough with diapers and refused to put them on.  Well, before his brother was born he had just about every possible sign of being ready to go diaperless.  You know, telling you when he was going to go, going longer hours without wetting his diaper, being "private" when he was going...we had it all.  That is, except an eager mother and father.  We had our hands full, we still do.  The prospect of running back and forth between a peeing toddler and a screaming newborn just didn't sound appealing.  Well, it still doesn't, but we decided that there was probably going to be no better time.  The only thing worse than the former scenario is a crawling baby who is bound to get into everything.

So, alas, we have begun.  I don't know what I thought, but I definitely thought that my son would be the 2 year old trained with the "3 day potty training."  Yeah, not so much.  I read the book, being passed through email from one mom to another.  Sure, he's got the point...you pee, you get a sticker.  Getting there in time is the problem.  We've had quite a few shrieks of, "Mommy, pottttttttty."  The look on his face says it all, he's already gone.  Let's just say things are a lot messier at our house this past week.  And what is it with the fear of using toilets at other places??  This little boy refuses to pee at my mother in laws house, same potty seat and all. Patience is key with all things in parenting and I guess this will just be another notch in my belt.  Someone, please pray for me.

For those of you thinking about partaking on this adventure with me, here are some signs of readiness:

• Your child stays dry at least two hours at a time during the day or is dry after naps.
• Bowel movements become regular and predictable.
• Facial expressions, posture or words reveal that your child is about to urinate or have a bowel movement.
• Your child can follow simple instructions.
• Your child can walk to and from the bathroom and help undress herself.
• Your child seems uncomfortable with soiled diapers and wants to be changed.
• Your child asks to use the toilet or potty chair.
• Your child asks to wear grown-up underwear. 

I plan on picking up Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Potty Training" book tonight.  I'll keep you all updated.